You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
