No, drunk sperm still make babies.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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