These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize