This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
