just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
