so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm just crazy horny about you
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
