I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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