Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
