I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
