thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
