I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
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