we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
