Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
