return my video game
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
