We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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