You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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