I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
