Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
