They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
