The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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