I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
