They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I said "one day" and that day is not today
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
