So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
