Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
