I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
