I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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