i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
