She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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