If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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