so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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