By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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