your room smells of hookers.
And success
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
