I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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