my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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