yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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