Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
