it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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