I don't remember. Are we still dating?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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