its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
