There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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