operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
