she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
