i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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