you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
