i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
