you guys were way drunker than both of me
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
A+ Viking dick
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
