So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize