I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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