They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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