did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
