2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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