sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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