Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize