is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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