wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
