you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize