Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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