if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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