My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
