Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
